Your Past Self Would Be Proud...Why aren't You?

 For the first time this past year I heard someone say, “there is a past version of yourself that would be so proud of how far you’ve come,” the moment was fleeting and it's a common phrase, yet something about it stuck to my soul.  It’s far too easy to complain about your life today or be overly hard on yourself but if you take a moment to step back, to think, where you are now is often where you always dreamed of.  

I want you to think with me – What did little you dream of? Where did you hope to be? To do? Maybe it’s just me (though I seriously doubt it) that didn’t believe I would ever make it as far as I have today.  Often, we lose sight of this, always so absorbed in ourselves and how much further we have to go that we forget how far we’ve come. From the four-foot tall, young girl with Dora bangs who dreamed of being a princess to the grungy middle schooler with a side part that sat alone, I know all versions of who I was would smile at who I am today. This is not only motivation alone to continue to put in the work but also a reminder to enjoy where I am and not punish myself for who I could be. If your past self would be proud of you today, then why can’t you now? 

This post is going to take a unique layout compared to my previous, in which, instead of giving steps and breaking it down, I am simply writing in a logical series of paragraphs which will hopefully spark a reflective and motivational state. For much of this post I will be speaking directly from my personal experience, here I encourage you to instead of dismissing my experiences as different from your own, to think of how to adapt these through a lense you can relate to. 

Today, I find that I am often hard on myself. I wonder, what is wrong with me and why aren’t I more like them, more successful. I trap myself in a bubble of comparison and determination of striving to better, to be more. This mindset is so easy to get caught up in and inevitably burn out. I get so caught up in my own world that I forget to look up, look around, and appreciate where I am. Even more often do I forget to appreciate who I am. Since I was a kid, I remember looking at women around me, thinking about how I wanted to be just like them when I grew up. Now, I have grown up and I still find myself doing the same thing, forgetting that I am the grown, independent women that little me would once gawk at in public. 

The truth is, you will never be content by being more because there is always more to reach and achieve. This is why it’s important to recognize how much you have achieved. Now, I am not saying that there is no point in continuing to strive, only that you have to appreciate how far you’ve come every once in a while. Time passes quicker than we think it does in the moment, and in a blink of an eye we forget how we used to be. We forget how we used to think, what we used to want. But if you just take a moment to think back and remember, chances are it is exactly who you are (or pretty damn close). Sometimes it isn’t as simple as this, and it takes a little more practice in recognizing it. Still, I encourage you to try because the more you do, the more you’ll see it, the more you will smile at yourself, the more you will work for yourself. At the end of the day, that is who you are working for, not everyone around you, but yourself. 

 So, instead of complaining about all the time you spend trying and about the life you lead now, be grateful, because at one point your past self-prayed for the person that you see in the mirror today. Use this as motivation to continue instead of using others. It will not only give you the push you need to reach further but the comfort that you need on the hard days, knowing that you have accomplished something you can be proud of. 

So, I ask you again – If your past self would be proud, then why aren’t you now?